Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
