trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it's great music for shaving your balls
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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