We won't sleep together?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
