Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
