I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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