I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
