i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
