saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
