Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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