Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
