He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
