On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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