I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
