I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
