During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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