He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
