i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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