Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i would one night stand the shit outta him
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
