I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
