chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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