a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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