oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I love you. Go after that dick
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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