I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
