I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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