the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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