apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
