My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
