Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
