hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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