Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
