I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
