no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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