i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
