Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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