Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
