Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
