I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
