Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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