Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Everclear isn't food dammit
I am available for nakedness
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
