That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
