census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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