I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
