She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
