So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
