I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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