The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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