She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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