i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
