didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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