shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
