Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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