so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
