i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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