Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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